Working with Type Eight in Therapy

Enneagram Type Eight referred to as “The Challenger” or “The Leader” is characterized by a strong, assertive personality that has a deep desire for control, power, and influence and often expresses an aversion to weakness and vulnerability in themselves and others. They tend to externalize their anger into action and dominance.

Their patterns include focusing on action and immediacy, criticizing weakness in themselves and others, acting with determination, courage, and straightforwardness, protecting those they love or care about, and passionately advocating for the causes they believe in. In unhealth, they can become harsh, insensitive, lack empathy, or hurt others with their intensity or, in some cases, unchecked aggression.

The goals of therapy should include helping Eights express themselves directly, respectfully, and with honesty, empathy, sensitivity, and compassion. Growth is indicated when Eights harness their energy in productive ways while integrating self-assertion with tenderness and vulnerability.

Core Messaging & Key Characteristics

Lost Childhood Message: “You will not be betrayed.”

Wounding Message: “It’s not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone.”

Wounding Message Development: People will fail you and undermine you. Being weak makes you vulnerable to harm. Keep your deepest needs quiet and always be strong.

Grounding Message: “It’s okay to feel and share your feelings. You will not be betrayed.”

Wants/Needs: Passionate impact on the world but will settle for control and isolation

Basic Fear: Being harmed or controlled by others
Basic Desire: Be in control of life and their environment and protect the self
Basic Need: To fight against and avoid vulnerability

Motivations: To lead, be self-reliant, be strong, resist weakness, be important, stay in control

Values: Intensity, Challenge, Justice, Strength, Invulnerability, Influence, Boldness, Autonomy

At their best: Self-mastering, use their strengths to improve others’ lives, heroic, magnanimous

Strengths: Strong, powerful, determined, persistent, protective of others, committed to justice and fairness, truthful, straight-forward, enthusiastic, passionate, generous, and able to maintain high energy to get things done

Challenges: Controlling, intimidating, excessive, angry, demanding, impatient, dominating, intense, overly direct, vengeful attitude, and impulsive

Mental Habit:  Attention goes to power, control, and fairness

Emotional Habit: Anger and cynicism

Emotional Survival Strategy: I work or fight to create a fair and just world.

Patterns of Behavior

Patterns listed below are based on average to below average levels of functioning within the Type, which is typical for clients entering therapy. Behaviors may vary from client to client, so it’s appropriate not to assume every client displays all these patterns.

  • Focus on action and immediacy – right here, right now
  • Reject their own needs and vulnerabilities because both lead them to feel weak
  • Show contempt for and criticize weakness or dependency in themselves and others
  • Being determined, courageous, protective, and straight-forward in speech and action
  • Show excitement and passion for those they love and causes they believe in
  • React quickly and intensely; oftentimes without thinking it through first
  • Show a preference to control or take charge of others or their environment
  • Tendency towards holding onto blame of people or institutions for “self-protection”
  • Ruminate on the wrong-doings or weakness of others in order to justify anger
  • Go to anger easily and often as a way to induce a sense of power and invulnerability
  • Use anger to motivate action, right a wrong, or protect themselves or others
  • Pride themselves on being self-reliant, so they don’t have to rely on others
  • Are willing to break some things in order to achieve their aims or aspirations
  • Not afraid to put pressure on others to get things done and know how to get results
  • May show little to no empathy for those who are weak or vacillating
  • Present as strong-willed and do not give up or back down easily
  • Have a tender, soft, and sentimental side they show very few people
  • Do not hesitate to let others know exactly what’s on their minds and directly
  • Appreciate challenge as they believe it toughens them and provides clarity
  • Challenge others to push past their comfort zone and achieve their best
  • Present with a solidity, earthiness, and a potentially crude sense of humor
  • Express anger, even rage, then fairly quickly move on from it
  • Work their edges with zest and get inspired by the impossible

Impact in Relationships

  • Resist trusting others in relationship due to a fear of betrayal or a past history of being betrayed
  • Tendency towards intensity, reactivity, and directness intimidates others and may push them away
  • Don’t remember their presence can be intimidating to others, in which case it’s useful for them to intentionally soften their approach towards others
  • Present with an all-or-nothing style of attention or attunement to support connection with others
  • Others may report “toos” about them (ex. too much, too direct, too intense, too controlling, etc.)
  • Resist shared vulnerability thus blocking the potential for deeper understanding and connection
  • Tendency towards blame, anger, and rumination can reduce the likelihood of relationship repair
  • May have difficulty drawing potential partners to them by acting as if they don’t need a relationship
  • Can lead partners to feel as if they can’t be trusted or feel tested by them because they doubt others are “big enough” to be there for them
  • Resist openness and vulnerability, which are essential ingredients in healthy intimate relationships
  • Tendency towards controllingness does not appeal to others and does not support the development of trust and safety in relationships
  • May turn down offers by others to be there for them since it leads them to feel needy or vulnerable
  • Find it difficult to acknowledge their needs and vulnerabilities, which is a precursor to sharing them

Goal of Therapy: Control to Connection & Containment

Therapeutic Interventions

Therapeutic interventions should focus on helping Eights access their softer emotions, develop trust in others, learn to be more empathetic and sensitive to others and their own needs, moderate their reactivity and intensity, and balance their strength, resilience, and tenacity with self-awareness that extends beyond controlling others, situations, or their environment.

Conclusion

By integrating these interventions, Eights can gain self and emotional awareness, cultivate more authentic and rewarding relationships, and balance their assertiveness and controllingness with qualities of being that have the potential to not only provide a comforting sense of belonging, but also create fulfilling opportunities to live a meaningful life and apply the gifts of their type.

While this brief collection of themes and therapeutic interventions for Eights is by no means exhaustive, I invite you to bring in whatever you think could be helpful to your Type Eight client as they are likely to share the desires, fears, and challenges that are common to all of us

Finally, in my work with clients, I also find it helpful to not only consider interventions that are relevant to the client’s primary Type, but also interventions that are specific to one or both of the client’s wings, especially the dominate wing.

Trainings

Enneagram for Counselors with Leslie Bley, LPC-S

Resources

Enneagram Institute
The Narrative Enneagram

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