Working with Type Five in Therapy

Enneagram Type Five individuals, often called “The Investigator” or “Observer” tend to be introspective, curious, and knowledge-driven but may struggle with emotional detachment, social withdrawal, and an over-reliance on intellectualization and compartmentalization for managing their feelings or any kind of discomfort.

Their patterns include retreating into solitude, being overly private, overthinking before taking action, hoarding information as well as their resources, becoming self-sufficient, autonomous, and independent, limiting their desires and dependency on others, and protecting themselves from a depletion of time, energy, or resources. In unhealth, they tend to reduce their fear as illogical and gather more information. Fearing incompetence or not knowing, they may seek to master something they’re passionate about in order to ground themselves.

The goals of therapy should include encouraging Fives to welcome their emotions in the present moment and release their control of time, energy, and resources. Growth is indicated by a reconnection to the vitality of their life force, allowing some dependency on trusted others, and realizing they will get what they need culminating in a trust in abundance as well as a greater willingness to share themselves and their resources with others.

Core Messaging & Key Characteristics

Lost Childhood Message: “Your needs are not a problem.”

Wounding Message: “It’s not okay to be comfortable. I don’t have the skills, space, or energy I need to cope.”

Wounding Message Development: The world is full of feelings and those are too abstract for me. It’s better to know things and detach emotionally, so you never feel isolated, empty, lonely, or become overly attached to or dependent on others.

Grounding Message: “You have what you need to cope.”

Wants/Needs: Omniscience and to know that the energy in this world will meet real needs

Basic Fear: Being helpless, useless, incapable, overwhelmed
Basic Desire:  To be knowledgeable, capable, and competent
Basic Need: to understand, to feel secure, avoid depletion

Values: Knowledge, Understanding, Depth, Competency, Learning, Solitude, Self-sufficiency, Competency

Motivations: To possess knowledge, to teach, to understand their environment, and to have everything “figured out” as a way of defending the self against uncertainty, potential threats, or depletion

At Their Best: Become visionary and able to see the world in new ways

Strengths: Thoughtful, knowledgeable, scholarly, perceptive, calm in a crisis, respectful, able to maintain confidences, can set and enforce boundaries, appreciative of simplicity, dependable, self-reliant (mental-emotional independence), and self-sufficient (practical and material independence)

Challenges: Withholding, emotionally-detached, stingy, frugal, isolated, overly-intellectual, remote, reluctant to share feelings, scarcity mindset, and overly-private

Mental Habit:  Attention goes to potential intrusion and gathering knowledge

Emotional Habit: Fear of intrusion or depletion and withholding of resources

Emotional Survival Strategy: I control my time with others, withhold, and remain an observer

Patterns of Behavior

Patterns listed below are based on average to below average levels of functioning within the Type, which is typical for clients entering therapy. Behaviors may vary from client to client, so it’s appropriate not to assume every client displays all these patterns.

• Retreat into privacy, solitude, or their studies, projects, or hobbies
• Overthink before taking action to make sure it’s completely possible culminating in inaction
• Hoard information, time, space, energy, and resources
• Detach from feelings, especially in real-time and during conflict
• Can connect with feelings and emotional states most easily when alone in quiet solitude
• Become self-sufficient and self-reliant by limiting their needs, desires, and dependencies
• Protect themselves from depletion or lacking what they need or might need to cope
• Distrust in abundance and are prone to a scarcity mindset (“never enough”)
• Like to pursue things they are curious about in depth with the goal of deep understanding
• Value solitude (oxygen to them) as well as privacy
• Don’t allow many people into their world; just a few trusted and important others
• Often feel invisible to others or dismissed by others
• Can offer different, deeper, or innovative perspectives on their topics of interest
• Are often inclined to pursue unconventional paths in life, work, or relationships
• Prefer to listen and observe, rather than talk unless it’s something they’re excited about
• Like learning and figuring things out on their own, rather than in a group or with others
• Tend to prefer individual contributor roles, rather than coordinate work with groups or others
• May be arrogant assuming they are smarter or more intelligent than others
• Enjoy attending to details and fine-tuning things, including projects, processes, tasks, etc.
• May become triggered by others’ incompetency or failure to approach tasks thoughtfully
• Passionate about learning and pursuing their interests through study and experiences
• Intense, active, or generative mental energy much of the time and for long periods of time
• Excellent focus, concentration, and depth of understanding on whatever interests them
• Tend to be minimalists since they suppress their practical and emotional wants/needs
• Can get caught up in excessively-detailed monologues on their topics of interest, share too many details, or segue into tangents during conversations causing others to become over-full and stop listening
• Experience heightened anxiety with surprises and disturbances

• Emotional detachment leaves others feeling disconnected to them or abandoned by them
• Difficulty with exploring and expressing feelings in real-time and with others makes emotional connection, shared vulnerability, and resolving conflict difficult
• Unwillingness or inability to discuss feelings or acknowledge needs adds distance in relationships
• Tendency towards privacy and lack of self-disclosure makes it difficult for others to know them
• Don’t see how their withholding in relationships contributes to their own experience of invisibility
• Reduce their expectations and needs in relationship, so others won’t expect them to meet their needs
• Prioritize solitude over spending quality time with others to ensure others don’t become dependent on them, which tempers the intensity, pace, and strengthening of their bonds
• Find it difficult to share of their personal thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities with others
• Resist intimacy, closeness, vulnerability, attachment, and dependency in relationships
• May find intimate relationships excruciatingly taxing because it requires them to access and share their emotional interior, needs, and vulnerabilities with their partner
• May not appreciate how relationships can be a rewarding source of experiences, exciting possibilities, and opportunities for being supported by others and practicing generosity
• Prefer fostering only a few close relationships, so they don’t have to blur their boundaries, sacrifice their solitude, or risk depletion
• May forget to approach conversations in a balanced way allowing for equal parts sharing and listening or fail to notice how their detailed explanations or “lectures” can overwhelm others